Rev. Ben Fowler
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Courage

7/26/2011

1 Comment

 
Sarah, the woman I have loved and lived with for nearly 38 years, recently gave me a tee shirt that reads "Peace also takes courage." It got me thinking about what courage really is. Of course, it sometimes seems that it takes courage just to live our lives, just to be alive, but that is a pretty maudlin way to think, and there's really no reason to take the thought any further, since being alive is actually pretty amazing no matter how you cut it.

But there are lots of other things that take courage. Relationships take courage, both to stay in--and weather the difficulties inherent in any partnership, or to leave--to live with the finality of failure. Humility takes courage--not to be defensive but self-effacing in a positive way. Gratefulness takes courage--to see past all the hardships of life to thankfulness. 



It generally takes courage to do anything that goes against our more usual instincts; to quit that safe job; to eat that unusual food; to spend money on something that may seem extravagant; to pursue that life's dream. 

As often as not, it takes as much or more courage not to do something as it does to do it. Alcoholics have taken a courageous step toward a better life by giving up something they love--by not drinking. 

Courage and faith kind of go hand in hand. By having the courage to go against my instincts, I need a certain amount of faith that I am going to end up in a place, or with another action, that is where I might rather be. For example, I have a kind of readiness to get angry when something deserving of anger comes my way, but when I over ride that tendency, the results are far more productive and peaceful than when I rant and rave. 

I have been trying to maintain the courage to just "be" this summer. To let go of the many things that have been cluttering my head for the past several years. It is unfamiliar. I am guilt ridden sometimes. I am confused and feel scared and at loose ends now and again. And I don't feel all that courageous. I just feel what I suspect most people feel when they are trying to be brave in the face of the unknown; I feel challenged. It is hard and feels a bit unfair--as though I have to keep my upper lip stiff while others cavalierly chug along in live.

It feels like  injustice and injustice makes me angry--makes most of us angry, I would guess. But to get rid of  injustice we don't need anger, we need justice. We need to act. The same is true for peace (peace in the world around us, peace in our hearts): to get peace we don't need war, we need peace. To find a deeper inner peace, I need to act more peaceful. Just like if everyone who claimed they are peace loving were actually peaceful, I suspect that most war would disappear. But that takes courage. 

Let's hope that someday we can all be that brave.





1 Comment

A Clean Palate

7/16/2011

5 Comments

 
I have a goal for the summer: to clear my head of the constant chatter and relax. I spend a lot of time with things like meditation and chanting; wonderful past-times that allow me some quality connection with my spirit. Wonderful as they are, however, they are also focused on mindfulness. What I really have need of is mindlessness. 

I have said this before: it can become quite a burden to try to live in a constant state of mind that requires awareness. It is, in some ways, like seeing life through a camera lens--never quite experiencing being in the present because my awareness lies on trying to be aware of my experience rather than to just be in my experience. (A bit convoluted, I know, but, well, what can I say?)

So I have been trying to just do things this summer. I have been fixing some nagging problems in the deck of my boat. Grinding, sanding, fiber glassing, sanding, filling, painting. Yesterday I cleaned and waxed the entire hull of the boat. And I have been mowing the lawn, recording some music, carving and sanding a walking stick, working on the occasional house project. Tomorrow, I go sailing with some friends for a few days, then come home to get my own boat in the  water. 

I can't say yet that the weight of my journey has been lifted from my shoulders.  It does still feel like my struggles linger on in the background most of the time. I manage to make it a burden that is tough to shuck. But I am relearning the value of doing things that require no thought, or creative thought only. 

I am remembering that there is being built into doing, perhaps more being in doing than in trying to figure out just how to be. It is just one more of those things that requires balance. 
5 Comments

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    Rev. Ben

    I am an Interfaith Minister. My ramblings are primarily  random thoughts, and commentary on life, love and the pursuit of happiness. See more on the ABOUT ME page (above).

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