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Don't Wait, TELL THEM NOW!!!

8/23/2011

This week we have been enduring a family tragedy the likes of which no-one should have to face. A death in the family from an unfortunate accident, no rhyme or reason, no iota of justification available, not even a smidgen of reason to it, has been ruling our lives and giving us much pause for contemplation over the last half week--and for untold time to come.

Lessons, of course, abound in all the shoulda's, woulda's, coulda's that are the inevitable fallout from such an awful experience. But there is one lesson that stands out. Now, I started this blog with no intention of giving advice. My hope is that I might stir your thoughts here and there. I know I can bloviate and sound lectury, and probably do now and then in these writings. But I have very consciously tried to stay away from advice--though you will have to judge that in the end.

All the same the lesson so crudely and starkly learned from the senseless death of my brother-in-law needs to be expressed as advice--and that is this:

Tell the people you love that you love them, and tell them RIGHT NOW.

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Ball and Chain

8/4/2011

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I have thought back a bit this summer about the times when the work I did to make a living (low those many years ago) had little or nothing to do with my inner world or my presumptuous sense of myself as a "professional" or other forms of self-defeating, self-esteem related bullshit. My life as a carpenter was free of the ball and chain of responsibility--go to work, do the job, go home, do deeper work if/when I felt like it. But as a smart, over-educated man from an ambitious family background--it did not feel, of course, like enough. There is way too much power in what we believe we should do over what actually feels good. I sure do not want to go back to being a carpenter, my body's too far gone, but the state of mind would be nice to recreate ("paper or plastic?").

Much of this, I think, is about taking life seriously, or perhaps too seriously in my case. I'm not sure this is a treadmill I can dismount with ease. Even as a youngster, there was a seriousness about me that had a clear presence. Of course, as a child, I was rewarded for this because it made others feel that I was somehow mature beyond my years. But those rewards were not necessarily the path to the garden of joy.

We live in an ambitious culture. Particularly because of the power of education, the presence of media generated fame, and that indomitable independence of spirit, it is easy to get caught up in the need to create and leave a legacy that carries us past out mortal life. This makes it all too easy to think about the future and forgo the joy of now; the joy of life.

In the end, not much of what most of us will do will matter one whit beyond, say, 50 years past our demise; or perhaps the lifetimes of our children. And this tells me one thing; the greatest legacy we can create is to live fully right now, for no other reason than to just enjoy life.

Is there really any other reason to live this life than to enjoy it?

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Rev. Ben

I am an Interfaith Minister. My ramblings are primarily random thoughts, and commentary on life, love and the pursuit of happiness. See more on the ABOUT ME page (above).

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Don't Wait, TELL THEM NOW!!!

Ball and Chain

Rev. Ben

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