Rev. Ben Fowler
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Truth or Consequences

10/15/2012

6 Comments

 
Recently the concept of truth seems to be on my mind. You might think it is a result of the political climate these days, but actually my thinking was spawned by the comments of a friend about her state of mind. In essence, she was commenting on how she was going around talking about how stressed she was, and that she had decided to change that by going around saying how happy and centered she was. That got me thinking; is the “truth” what we are, or is it what we say we are?

One of the things I learned from my depression this summer is that it is nothing to be ashamed of. I also learned that no amount of thinking will make it go away. I can set it aside for a while and ignore its effect on me now and again. Yet this happens mostly by my accepting that it is a part of my life right now and by my living with it rather than trying to change it. If I try to change it, I expend considerable energy trying to be something that I am not. That energy might well be better used elsewhere. Like being who I am.

At the same time, by trying to change it, I am not being honest with myself or with others about how I am actually feeling. This is where the truth question comes in. If I am trying to change myself by pretending that I feel some way other than I actually feel, what is the truth? If I tell others that I am happy (when I am not) the truth to them is that I am happy—they know no different. But just by saying this, does it change the truth to me?

Now, there is plenty of evidence that we can change the way we feel by thinking differently. But is that necessary? Can we also change the way we feel by thinking honestly? By fully accepting my depression, and by being open with others about it, I find it not all that difficult to live with. No, I have not grown to love it, but it sits alongside me, and only has a middlin' effect on my ability to live my life in a reasonably normal manner.

My kind of depression is, of course, a physical malady more than a state of mind. But stress and anxiety of any kind are expressed through our body in one way or another. Just as ignoring the signs of a cold coming on will sure lead to a full blown cold, ignoring stress by trying to talk or think our way out of it, without taking action to change those things that are triggering it, certainly increases the possibility that we will deepen our malaise.

Ramana Maharshi, one of the great Hindu sages said: “Your duty is to be; and not to be this or that.” What this means to me is that we are not put on this earth to just be happy, or in love with life, or just be depressed and embittered by our lot. We are also not put here to always be up and positive, or always down and disheartened.

Rather, we are put here to be whole; to be truthful with ourselves (and others) about who we are and to love ourselves in spite of how we might rather be. 


6 Comments

Just be Happy.

12/13/2011

5 Comments

 
How many times have I heard (or said): "I just want to be happy." Or the converse: "I wish I didn't feel so sad." This is wonderful sentiment, but I have to wonder if this is not trying to shoot the moon, so to speak. Emotions are part and parcel with our everyday life, and there will always be peaks and valleys. The idea that we might be happy all the time or avoid the depths of sadness is like hoping we'll win the lottery without buying a ticket: ain't gonna happen.

I think comments of this sort actually express a deeper desire that we all have to feel such confidence and contentment in our lives that we are able to take in stride these fleeting peaks and valleys of living. To me this means being able to experience the purity of a happy moment without grasping at it to try to make it last longer than it's natural life. And it means being able to experience our sadness (or other less pleasant emotions) without the fear that it (they) will overwhelm and consume us. We can have this experience when the spirit part of our mind-body-spirit relationship is taking the lead over our emotion in our experience of life. Or to put it another way, when our spiritual ground of being is strong, our emotions can be seen with reasonable perspective.

We are actually born with this solid ground of being. All one needs to do is to imagine a child asleep in your arms to understand that. A child goes through emotions "like green corn goes through the new maid" (as we say in New England), but they seem to be able to return with ease to a place where  the concerns of emotional turmoil  are set aside, and calm prevails. 

Now the trouble is, if you are reading this you are not a child. All the same, that same state of calm still exists within you. We will not find it by trying to return to the elusive "inner child." Rather, it is invoking the almost equally elusive "inner adult" ( as my friend Ashley Davis-Bush would say) that will give us access to a solid ground of being. In children, it happens automatically. In us adults, it is a choice--a choice that takes practice--but a choice none-the-less. We can't get there by merely trying to eliminate our emotions.

This is where a firm foundation in spiritual practice comes in. Spiritual practice does not necessarily mean prayer, church, meditation or the like. Spiritual practice is any intentional action which strengthens our connection with, and confidence in, our ground of being. It is anything we do to live more firmly in a solid ground of being so that when happiness or sadness emerge, as they inevitably will, we are still sure that we can enjoy the highs and withstand the lows. So, play music, sing loudly, walk on the beach, meditate, make something, do regularly those things that strengthen your ground of being:  it is there that contentment consumes sadness and allows happiness a moment in the sun.
5 Comments

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    Rev. Ben

    I am an Interfaith Minister. My ramblings are primarily  random thoughts, and commentary on life, love and the pursuit of happiness. See more on the ABOUT ME page (above).

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