Rev. Ben Fowler
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Gratitude is an attitude

11/23/2011

12 Comments

 
About a year ago I wrote a sermon which had a title identical to this writing. I was somewhat smug in thinking that I was the first to put these two words together in such a poetic combo. Ridiculous, of course; I have since seen this duo used many times, most regularly on bumper stickers--my usual competition. But, hey, I am grateful, actually, for any small moment of having my ego boosted. As you can tell, it doesn't take much. 

I don't spend a lot of time being grateful. It seems, well, gratuitous. I guess I have known and worked with too many people who hide behind gratitude. They use it as a shield from their unease, claiming it as a friend when it is really a protector. For them gratitude is in their words more than a reflection of their attitudes.

Now, don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't appreciate my life and all the wonderful people in it. Nor do my moments of depression constantly overwhelm my my appreciation of the goodness of life. It's just that I am not actively thinking about how lucky I really am, nor am I the type who will readily mete out gratitude and good cheer if it is not right on the surface. I am, after all, a staid New Englander, born and bred, and as such have somewhat of an obligation not to be overly demonstrative. 

I also have this secret belief that if I am feeling really thankful, I should also be feeling really happy. Though second thought makes me realize that the two do not have to be tied integrally together. It is, perhaps, appropriate even to feel grateful for the experience of things that are not all joy and wonder. At the very least, it is a symptom that I live an honest life--let alone a clear indication that my heart is still beating and my neural synapses are still firing.

In the end, I guess it is gratitude in the heart that really matters. Even in moments when stress or discomfort invade our lives, or those times when we could strangle our friends or family--whenever gratitude is trumped by circumstance--it is still possible to feel thankful for every breath we take, for every turn of one day to the next, and for every smile of friends known and unknown as we muddle through our day. 

Rest assured that if you have read this far, I am grateful for your taking the time. And I hope your own gratitude inhabits your attitude during this time of thanksgiving.


12 Comments
Russill Paul link
11/23/2011 04:40:53 am

The last two paragraphs really strike home. The attitude of gratitude should persist regardless of emotions or circumstances - both smooth and challenging - and gratitude for the most important things in life that we so easily take for granted - breath, body, friends, family - is especially valuable to remember this Thanksgiving and all year round. Thank "you" Ben. Happy Thanksgiving to you and Sarah and your wonderful extended family.

Reply
Barbara Patton
11/23/2011 05:16:26 am

I like your attitude about gratitude. We don't need to display our thankfulness on our sleeve, but it should be embedded in our soul, along with love -- these components of a good and happy life.

Have a happy holiday, Ben.

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Cary Plummer
11/23/2011 07:01:35 am

I often think I have to be happy to be grateful. Seems to me gratitude is on the same wavelength as joy--neither are related to "happy.". Me too--New Englander that I am--an ecstatic, yet "must not show our feelings, My Dear.". Fortunately, this dichotomy can throw one into bliss when entertained mindfully. What would be really satisfying on this Thanksgiving Eve--mind blowing kirtan-- out in that field....

Blessed be.

Reply
Gordon sharpless
11/23/2011 10:33:27 am

I am now at the age when I am loosing good friends. When younger, did not think this would really happen to me.

So I want to embrace my living friends, and still be grateful
In a big way for all those lovely people no longer with us.

Have a wonderful turkey!

Gordon

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Dana Mildebrath
11/24/2011 12:53:43 am

I am grateful to be on Russill Paul's email list, which took me to your blog post on gratitude. I just read it out loud to my family. Happy Thanksgiving!

Reply
Bill Burtis
11/24/2011 07:50:18 am

Happy Thanksgiving, Ben - and to the rest of the clan, as well.

I was taught to be grateful for my adversities for out of them comes spiritual growth. If that were true, I think I'd be wicked big, in a spiritual sense. The fact that I am not, I think, says something about the seriousness of my troubles, rather than anything about the truth of that axiom. So, I can be grateful for that!

Hope you had a lovely day.

Bill

Reply
Michelle Gojkovich
11/24/2011 11:17:41 pm

Last night I was reading from Joyce Hawkes' book Cell Level Healing and was moved by the following passage on gratitude for our own bodies..."The human body is amazing and deserves honest appreciation. The sheer number of cells in your body, nearly 100 trillion, outnumbers the entire population of the earth by 1,500 times and the stars of the Orion Galaxy by 1,000.....These trillions of cells work together to keep you alive." She later suggests taking a moment to focus on four attributes you appreciate about your body and recording your thoughts in a personal journal for further reflection. A very beautiful practice, indeed.

Happy Thanksgiving.
Michelle Gojkovich

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Erin Ehlers link
11/26/2011 08:13:44 pm

I love your comment about happiness and gratitude. I also think that gratitude and honesty are natural companions. Happiness comes after these attributes are integrated.

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kule link
12/1/2011 06:53:20 am

Well, ben, my own richest form of gratitude seems to be associated with a peaceful contentedness ( vs. rambunctious exclamations ) beyond any reason to be grateful. Not an everyday conscious experience, but right down there a half a breath from Source.

On a less abstract note... I do like the occasion of Thanksgiving, but was delighted to hear a term celebrating every day... ThanksLiving.

Reply
Janice Darling
12/7/2011 12:39:34 pm

The night before thanksgiving I gave a vespers not on gratitude, which can seem pretty self absorbed (ie one tends to focus on all these things and people that one has and it runs the risk of becoming an "I me mine" kind of litany of possession and privilege) and then you feel guilty or gluttonous. Instead we focused on blessing--an outreaching gesture of goodwill, kind of a cross between the Jewish tradition of 100 Blessings, and the zen wish for all sentient beings to be happy. We spoke aloud things great and small that we wished to bless, ranging from ill friends to starry skies to tough parents to presidents to squashes of all shapes and colors--you get the idea. One can do this when one is feeling very low indeed, because it is directed from within, out toward those things, people and circumstances which one wants to direct love, care or hopes upon. The very act of blessing lifts one out of a me-centered space into a we centered one, connected to all that one is blessing. Spirit expands and by the end, we felt empowered, gracious, and tender, not a bad way to spend an evening ......

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Vermilion escorts link
9/19/2012 05:34:22 am

I'm just browsing around your site for the first time, interesting read

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intensensexy streamate link
10/19/2013 05:54:12 pm

First time here at your blog and wanted to say hi.

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    Rev. Ben

    I am an Interfaith Minister. My ramblings are primarily  random thoughts, and commentary on life, love and the pursuit of happiness. See more on the ABOUT ME page (above).

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