Now, I don't think that I will ever know, in this life at least, whether there is actually anything to know. Whether there is a higher power; whether my consciousness exists outside my body; these mysteries can not be solved while I am in this body. I can't know what being outside this body is like without shedding it, something I do not really want to do until it is warn out, if you know what I mean. Or to put it another way, it is not possible to really know what something is like until you have had the experience.
So I am trying to shift my focus to the letting go side of the equation. Unfortunately, in our culture "letting go" tends to equate to "shunting aside." In this context, it would mean that I would abandon my search for meaning and no longer seccumb to my desire to find communion with "something or other."
But there is another context in which letting go really is more closely aligned with acceptance. Life is what it is, and if there is a relationship to be had with the divine, it will happen when it happens. What I am trying to do is to let go of the desire to have the relationship so that the desire does not get in the way of my experiencing that relationship when it happens.
Letting go of the need to know forces us to accept the discomfort of the mystery of not knowing.