On Mother of a Day

Today is Mother's Day. One of the hardest jobs in the world... or not? You decide. My mother died a couple of years ago. I miss her sometimes, more as a blank space in my life than anything else. As I suspect she would say--life goes on. My mother and I were fairly close. I was her primary care advocate for the last few years of her life, and that connected us in ways that we had not been before. She was never all that exposed interpersonally, and as she closed in on the last years of her life, her memory and her ability to engage for more than a few minutes became limited. So getting close to her was a matter of knowing that my mere presence was a comfort, and that was enough--for both of us. My mother was very loving but not skilled at intimacy. As many of us can be, particularly as parents, she was good at advice, but not so good at counsel. Listening was hard. Though as her mind faltered and faded, she could listen for the first time and always seemed engaged and lucid in the brief responses she offered. I realize now that she had finally realized that teaching was more powerfully accomplished in silence.

There is a bit of mother in all of us, man, woman, child--we all have that desire to take care of other people. We all want our children to feel safe. So though today we honor Mothers in general, and our own in particular, take a moment to honor the mother in yourself as well. The world will be a more peaceful place, a calmer place, a place where love stands in the spotlight were we to all live for this days as mothers have lived most days of their lives.