Mix all that with the ironies and paradoxes thrown in by striking out on a spiritual journey and, at least to me, it sometimes feel that it is impossible to actually settle for anything. The complications of living life get in the way of living, so to speak.
Having just eulogized my brother-in-law, who died in mid-August in an accident, I had the chance to explore once again the complications that life throws at us. My brother-in-law, by choice, was an uncomplicated man. He reveled in the simple things; a simple line drawing; the simplicity of the blues; a simple motorcycle; a simple practical joke.
But he was no simple man. What he had learned to do was to just be himself; to react to what felt good and what felt bad and to act accordingly. Not to question unless it was necessary, but always to act as he felt.
Now, I've been on this search of mine for almost as long as I can remember. In his death my brother-in-law has taught me a powerful distinction, and it's simple, really; I don't really need to find myself, because I am already found.
I just need to be myself; a new challenge that's not as easy as it sounds.