Rev. Ben Fowler
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What am I missing?

2/20/2012

3 Comments

 
Sometimes I just can not for the life of me understand what this compulsion toward spirituality is all about (mine or other people's). I hate to sound cynical about this stuff, particularly as a minister, but what are we missing? Is there a scarcity of something, a drought, a deficiency, a shortage, an absence??? Have we lost something, or is there something to be found? Are we trying to skirt something, or include something , or eliminate something, or embrace or blockade something? I don't quite get it. 

Perhaps I should be clear that I speak only for myself.

It seems like I mix up my spiritual life with my emotional, intellectual and physical life (which of course, mixed up it is), hoping, perhaps, that by finally settling on a clear spiritual path, all the trials that come up from being a physical, rational and feeling being will go away. Well, wish me luck. I mean there is nothing, absolutely nothing that I can think of that will remove me from being human (other than, of course, death). And that means that I will suffer, occasionally, from the torments of my body, my reason, my emotion and, yes, even my spirit.  Even if I sit at the right hand of God, I'm undoubtedly going to get slapped by that hand every now and then, if only by mistake. So it seems a bit of a waste to be hoping that a deeper spiritual life will change that.

Perhaps my push towards deeper spirituality is a compulsion for forgiveness or redemption or some such thing. Everyone, after all, does things wrong and feels guilty about them. Ain't nobody out there who can claim a lily white life. But changing history is a pipe dream--forgiveness from the aggrieved might be a relief, but it doesn't unwrong the wrong. And does this actually make me more spiritual?

Perhaps my effort is merely a question of finding definition. Religions define for us the path and even the results of our spiritual efforts. I do not find those rules particularly helpful, and that leaves me kind of rudderless. UU and/or "new age" and/or non-sectarian principles don't help much either. Though they do create a container, they also rely on me to fill it--but with what? And on top of all this, everyone from the Pope to the pagans bandy  about the word "spirituality" sans any substantive definition. So what is it I am trying to fill and what am I trying to fill it with? 

Perhaps "spirituality" is knowing the container and the contents, but more likely it is something that only I can define for myself, and that will always be somewhat of a moving target. I do know it when I feel like I am in a spiritual place in my life, or when a moment of spiritual clarity emerges from the gloom. I guess the big challenge for those of us who are not enamored with dogma is to decide that it is all right to seek a spiritual path without it. And then to define and decide what spirituality means to us so that we can create the journey and head towards the destination. 

3 Comments
Natty link
2/20/2012 04:38:54 am

what do the Buddhists say? "If you're facing in the right direction, all you have to do is keep on walking"! Love ya....!!

Reply
Lisa Buell
2/20/2012 08:57:08 am

I don't experience it so much anymore as an emptiness or a need/desire to fill, as an evolution. That actually feels right and seems to fit. My drive is the evolutionary impulse in me. When I consider that it feels okay, it feels good, and it feels right. I am driven by, and am in, the natural flow of evolution. It's only when I judge it - as something I don't have, am not, haven't done - that it becomes a problem.

Remind me that I said this, will you?:-)

Reply
Joliet Strippers link
10/12/2013 05:32:20 am

Which template is this for your blog?

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    Rev. Ben

    I am an Interfaith Minister. My ramblings are primarily  random thoughts, and commentary on life, love and the pursuit of happiness. See more on the ABOUT ME page (above).

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